He: Aaj mere paas gaari hai, bangla hai, bank balance hai. Kya hai tumhare paas?!
Me: Mere paas Common Sense hai!
I doubt if Bollywood has yet come up with anything like this. Anyway, common sense wasn't rationed out well on Earth. Don't blame God for tempering with PDS right up there. From diet to fiscal, India has this deficit or that and our Delhi Metro particularly, talks highly of the horse sense deficit. Horse! That's what you are when you put your blinkers on and shoot past a tide of people like son of a gun for a seat. I admit that currently, Metro has become my hobby horse. Also, notwithstanding the repetitions, I am not obsessed with horses. Well, as soon as the door opens, you go at the seats hammer and tongs like a dog grabbing on a scrap of bread. Get your legs amputated or turn 60-years old and blah blah are some shameless suggestions Quora would offer you. And what for? A damn seat! This reminds me of the local phrase I heard from my Nani, "Log chaand pe chadh ge, par in khachrya tae kurdi pe nhi chaddhya jatta" [People have climbed the Moon (big achievements) but these mules haven't achieved basic things even].
Emerging as an obvious victor, you would ascend the throne, after having all squashed up and put on your blinkers while digging eyes in your phone. The ceremony gets over with the unforgettable ear plugs. Kids cry and sway by inertia. Oldies cough while holding the bar. But YOUR blinkers are on. (Anyway, a smart move, huh? Fie!). If the shooting past technique doesn't work out, you spread the carpet of your butt and root on the floor with the paraphernalia around attending to Your Majesty! And again the blinkers are out. You get up ...to de-board (obviously). If an elbow touches you or a push undoes your wisps from this side to that in an apparently jam-packed compartment, you behave like agitators on Jantar Mantar. But your ego gets good competition from the Gate Guards. Earthquake, stampede, flood... come what may but they would not budge from their place. Even the company on the platforms is ready to go all militaristic, barging in as if boarding the last metro rail of their life. It's then when I smirk. Karma strikes back, horses!
Delhi Metro commute is not a journey in Noddy's Toyland. Toyland didn't have 'fully fledged social subjects of urban life' talking, texting, video-calling while sharing their unwanted and irritated personal life details. Not everyone is interested and not nobody peeks searchingly in your phone. However, PDA interests me a lot. Oyo has definitely failed its exam. The other PDA is even more interesting. Someone dares to fart in the metro and with a snotty face, you say, "Bhaisahab, tameez nhi hai aapko!" and this initiates an eye treat i.e. full Public Display of Aggression. I do enjoy the scene without popcorn. Anger, frustration and Twitter are too handy these days. You can *beep*, bleat & tweet anywhere and everywhere. In a crowded coach, how dare someone even fart when people are standing not even within an elbow length and also when Delhi pollution is already beyond severe limit! You avow that Odd-Even Policy is a horseplay. Anyhow, it's better to pick up an air mask than a fight.* Two birds in one shot for sure. Thank me later.
*[DISCLAIMER: Fart machines, there is a difference between excusing yourself and carelessly farting around assaulting others' senses. Unless you have a medical condition, or are sick, please excuse].
***
So, Hello Citizens.
Cyber Citizens!
Cast off the Blinkers m. Till it is worked upon, let's read books & people, and laugh, because the world is too funny to laugh at.
Btw, what is your next station?
Me: Mere paas Common Sense hai!
I doubt if Bollywood has yet come up with anything like this. Anyway, common sense wasn't rationed out well on Earth. Don't blame God for tempering with PDS right up there. From diet to fiscal, India has this deficit or that and our Delhi Metro particularly, talks highly of the horse sense deficit. Horse! That's what you are when you put your blinkers on and shoot past a tide of people like son of a gun for a seat. I admit that currently, Metro has become my hobby horse. Also, notwithstanding the repetitions, I am not obsessed with horses. Well, as soon as the door opens, you go at the seats hammer and tongs like a dog grabbing on a scrap of bread. Get your legs amputated or turn 60-years old and blah blah are some shameless suggestions Quora would offer you. And what for? A damn seat! This reminds me of the local phrase I heard from my Nani, "Log chaand pe chadh ge, par in khachrya tae kurdi pe nhi chaddhya jatta" [People have climbed the Moon (big achievements) but these mules haven't achieved basic things even].
Emerging as an obvious victor, you would ascend the throne, after having all squashed up and put on your blinkers while digging eyes in your phone. The ceremony gets over with the unforgettable ear plugs. Kids cry and sway by inertia. Oldies cough while holding the bar. But YOUR blinkers are on. (Anyway, a smart move, huh? Fie!). If the shooting past technique doesn't work out, you spread the carpet of your butt and root on the floor with the paraphernalia around attending to Your Majesty! And again the blinkers are out. You get up ...to de-board (obviously). If an elbow touches you or a push undoes your wisps from this side to that in an apparently jam-packed compartment, you behave like agitators on Jantar Mantar. But your ego gets good competition from the Gate Guards. Earthquake, stampede, flood... come what may but they would not budge from their place. Even the company on the platforms is ready to go all militaristic, barging in as if boarding the last metro rail of their life. It's then when I smirk. Karma strikes back, horses!
Delhi Metro commute is not a journey in Noddy's Toyland. Toyland didn't have 'fully fledged social subjects of urban life' talking, texting, video-calling while sharing their unwanted and irritated personal life details. Not everyone is interested and not nobody peeks searchingly in your phone. However, PDA interests me a lot. Oyo has definitely failed its exam. The other PDA is even more interesting. Someone dares to fart in the metro and with a snotty face, you say, "Bhaisahab, tameez nhi hai aapko!" and this initiates an eye treat i.e. full Public Display of Aggression. I do enjoy the scene without popcorn. Anger, frustration and Twitter are too handy these days. You can *beep*, bleat & tweet anywhere and everywhere. In a crowded coach, how dare someone even fart when people are standing not even within an elbow length and also when Delhi pollution is already beyond severe limit! You avow that Odd-Even Policy is a horseplay. Anyhow, it's better to pick up an air mask than a fight.* Two birds in one shot for sure. Thank me later.
*[DISCLAIMER: Fart machines, there is a difference between excusing yourself and carelessly farting around assaulting others' senses. Unless you have a medical condition, or are sick, please excuse].
***
So, Hello Citizens.
Cyber Citizens!
Cast off the Blinkers m. Till it is worked upon, let's read books & people, and laugh, because the world is too funny to laugh at.
Btw, what is your next station?
W.O.W!!👏 I thoroughly enjoyed reading this and I'm typing this while pealing with laughter. You predicted the air mask usage aeons before it became common. You the real MVP, Harshita! 😎🙆
ReplyDeleteAppreciation inflates my lungs which comes in handy too in this smog/CoronaV.🤪 Thank you so much.
DeleteComments here are like the rare Blue Moon. So, mention not for this incredibly super fast reply🌚:p